My first foray into the world of Celestial Cosmetics

Hello non readers of my obscure blog, how goes it?
Today I received a bundle of joy in the form of a post pack envelope.
And inside? Lots and lots of lovely polish :D

I like the little personal note on the back of the Celestial Cosmetics card

 Not only were my 4 ordered polishes in there, but there was an additional polish called "Birth of a Star", a beautiful grey leaning, dusty purple holo




I actually emailed Celestial Cosmetics as I thought they had accidentally added the polish to my order, but they emailed me back to let me know it's part of their birthday celebrations and that all orders receive a bottle until the 25th of April.
Awesome!

Birth of a Star

So, apart from Birth of a Star I also received Nomad, Charming, Crow Eater and Neon Nights (Nomad, Charming and Crow Eater are all from the Sons of Anarchy collection). Both Crow Eater and Neon Nights are very different polishes to what I normally buy, so it wasn't surprising that Nomad and Charming are my faves as they're very much my type of colours.

Nomad

Charming

Crow Eater

Neon Nights

Application wise they varied quite a bit, with Neon Nights being the thickest formula and Nomad being the sheerest. Both Crow Eater and Charming applied in a similar fashion and had the nicest consistency to work with, although all were good.

Now, for some reason I don't wear blue polish- the closest I'll get is turquoise, but a true blue is just something I have never been drawn to. Crow Eater has actually got me reconsidering this- it is a gorgeous polish and looks fabulous on;

Excuse the shitty swatches- I only have a camera phone right now

Next up is Nomad, which is quite sheer and thin when applying, so I used two coats of it over one of Ultra3 Chilli. That undie made all the difference and allowed Nomad to really come to life on the nail. It has a gorgeous depth to it and that great squishiness that jellies have;

Nomad over Ultra3 Chilli

Then there's Charmed, which is tied with Nomad as my favourite. This is a simply glorious green that looks great after two coats, although three would probably give it even more depth. I love this colour, it's bright, vibrant and fresh... it really has charmed me;

Charming

Next up is Neon Nights. To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I have never worn a white polish- ever. I know, right?! So it feels really odd having such a light, bright colour on my nail.
Part of it is also my age- I suspect this would suit a younger person. I also think it would look better on my during the warmer months when my hands are tanned.
Aside from my own inexperience in wearing those sorts of colours the polish itself was easy to apply and was opaque in only two coats;

Neon Nights

And finally there's Birth of a Star, the lovely surprise polish :)
This is a beautiful grey leaning, dusty purple holo with lots of colour complexity depending on the light. Again, two coats was enough to get full opacity and I even threw on a top coat with no dulling effect.
And being a holo it was, of course, bloody tricky to capture, but here's what I managed to get;

Birth of a Star

Now, I know these swatches are less than stellar and these two didn't help matters either

I'd get a great angle and suddenly a cat tail would block the light, and Peanut was determined to eat my boot for some reason.
here is Smudge enjoying the swatched fingers;

Anyway, all in all I am absolutely rapt with my first Celestial Cosmetics encounter and I look forward to adding to my collection as time goes on.

I've also decided to wear Nomad to the gallery opening that is being held in honour of my mum's passing- she will have died a year ago on the 29th of this month and my sister has organised for a showing of some of my mum's photographic work in honour of this first anniversary.
I've decided to wear Nomad because my mum always wore red nail polish, and her nails were done even during those last weeks and days of her life.
In fact, her nails were still perfect while I held her hand as she passed away, far too young and from preventable cancer (so please, don't forget to have your annual pap smears).
I think she would have loved the colour and it's just a little something my sister and I can smile about together on a night that is bound to be a tad emotional.

And now, before I get all emotional writing this, I shall sign off.

I hope you've enjoyed the review and I would definitely recommend adding some of Celestial's polishes to your collection- and I will certainly take some more pics of my fully manicured hands wearing Nomad too.

Cheers,
Em x

Dear Nubar duochrome nail polish, where have you been all my life?

OMG. That pretty much sums up my reaction to these two polishes when I opened my little package today.
Inside were two Nubar nail polishes- Iris Dust and Wildlife- both of which are duochromes.
Now, these have been around for a couple of years and there's not much out there written about them, so I wasn't expecting anything too amazing.
Well, I was wrong. They are simply gorgeous, and at $5.50 a pop I will be collecting the other two on my shortlist.

Here's Nubar Iris Dust and Wildlife

Now I didn't swatch them on my nails because I have a massively glittery mani on and getting it off is a total PITA. I'm also expecting some goodies from Celestial Cosmetics (my first ever nail purchase from them- so excite!) and I really want to try on the green polish that's included in that purchase, so I swatched these babies onto some of those nail stick thingies instead (I am so articulate!).

Here's the lovely Iris Dust (please excuse the totally crappy pictures- I don't have a camera and I need to build a light box, so yeah, not great quality);

Nubar "Iris Dust"

 It's a lovely dark pink, leaning towards purple polish with a beautiful copper through to bronze duochrome effect. It's quite sheer, but three coats and it looks great. I didn't add a top coat here, but on the nail I would recommend it just to amp up the shine factor.
The application was very smooth and there's no visible brush strokes. All in all a very nice polish.

Now onto Wildlife. Now, I'm a sucker for green polish. I just love green. And oh boy does this polish make me feel all warm and gooey inside *sigh*
Here we go;

Nubar "Wildlife"

I just love this- the colour shift from dusty pink to green is so strong- it's the strongest duochrome I've ever owned.
Mind you, I've never really bought many because they've always left me feeling a little ripped off, like the promise that's in the bottle never eventuates when applied to the nail.
But with this baby? Oh yeah. It honestly gorgeous.
The application was a dream, the formula was slightly thicker than Iris Dust so it was easier to achieve opacity. This is three coats of Wildlife with no top coat. Again, I would recommend a coat of seche vite or poshe when wearing it as I think a super shiney finish would make this look even more delicious than it already does.

And here's some pics of the two polishes side by side;

Aren't they stunning? I am definitely considering doubling up on Wildlife because it's a discontinued colour and I've only found one place that has it on ebay thus far. I also want to get my hands on Purple Beach and Moon Shadow (also known as Moon Eclipse).

I am very interested in the Dance Legend duochromes also, and the fact that they're named after Monsters Inc characters makes them all the more appealing imho :)
But they're more pricey and I worry about them being shipped safely from Russia- their postal service isn't exactly renowned for their care and prompt delivery y'know?

Anyway, that's enough from me. Now I've just got to resist removing my polish until the Celestial Cosmetics polish arrives... gah!

So, a bit of a new direction... but first some stuff about mental illness, life, bad decisions and nail polish

This turned out to be really long and a bit confessional in nature, so you have been warned;

Now, anyone who knows me will agree that I'm very much a "phase" person.
I go through times where I will only eat Trident chicken soup, with dumplings and baby peas... for months (this is my current dinner "thing").

Or I will eat Cadbury Crunchie bars, but only the mini ones, in huge quantities for a week or so, then lose all interest.

I also live with mental health issues that definitely play a part in these phases- when I am feeling good I will be training at the gym 6 days a week and will be determined to enter a powerlifting comp or somesuch (I have competed once, in my 20's and I do love training).

When I'm feeling up I will want to volunteer with the local CFA or SES and go back to uni. I'll start writing again... you get the picture.

Pictured; NOT ME doing cool emergency stuff with the SES

Not me again being part of the SES

 Aaaand NOT ME absailing down a cliff to rescue someone with the SES

I don't experience mania per se, it's more like what I assume motivated people feel, but with less direction and, unfortunately, a time limit. If I were that "up" all the time I suspect I would be a very driven, successful person.

OK, maybe not that successful... also, unlimited power in my hands would be a dreadful thing

But as I said, there's a time limit and when I'm down I'm really down.
It's an achievement just getting my kid to school on time, and I'll often go back and sleep until it's time to pick her up. I will be so exhausted that I feel as if I am trying to move through some thick, viscous liquid that weighs my limbs down and clouds my mind.

The down phases don't have anything to do with external factors- I can be exercising 6 days a week, eating well, getting stuff done and then I'm suddenly sinking down into this awful, murky place where even simple movement feels like a monstrous task.

It's exhausting and excruciating to live like that- this cycle of being really together and motivated coupled with periods of depression so deep and so dark that I have gone to places where suicide is the sanest of my considerations.

It also makes it really freaking difficult to do things like hold down a job, or be an active member of the school council, or be part of a mothers group or god knows what other things people go to where they bond and make friends.

Lets be honest, it's hard to make friends when you veer between these states

over and over again

It doesn't help that I feel as if I don't fit in, because of the way I am.

And as a result of that feeling of disconnection and alienation, as well as trying to manage my mood swings, I spent most of my life self medicating- I was an addict for 20+ years... I started drinking and smoking pot when I was only 13 years old.

Luckily I was always good at school (except for maths- I am pretty sure I have some sort of dyscalculia, the maths version of dyslexia). I got in to a good university, but entered rehab for my drinking in my first year and developed a speed habit by my second year and then I simply dropped out.

I tried many ways to self destruct, and I wasted so many opportunities that could have given me a life that is far different from the one I now lead.

I even went to prison in my late 20's for 12 months. That was an interesting time, no doubt about that.

I also loved a very damaged, but good hearted man for almost 8 years and he is the father of my precious daughter.

Unfortunately he took his own life when I was almost 4 months pregnant. I found him, and even 10 years on I shy away from remembering that day. That loss definitely changed who I am and definitely damaged my ability to love anyone else (at least, at this point).

Needless to say, my pregnancy was a very stressful, unhappy time and my daughter was born a severe IUGR baby (although you would never know it now).

My lovely, gentle step brother, Jason, was also murdered by his wife and his "best friend" shortly after my daughter's birth, my baby was extremely difficult and didn't sleep through for over 2 years, I was living in emergency housing next door to loud, violent alcoholics... life was pretty difficult but I managed it, and I actually managed it well.

 

Yeah, my kid is pretty freaking cute

I love this pic so much <3

Fast forward through a failed attempt at a "grown up" relationship with a man who ended up mistreating me and my child, several relapses, a bout of anorexia and that damn cycle of ups and downs and this is where I am now.

I love my girl- to the moon and back

I actually had managed to get my life pretty much together until 2012, when I had a pelvic osteotomy to treat my hip dysplasia. Unfortunately the surgery was a disaster and my burgeoning house painting business was an early casualty.

I also lost my mother 11 months ago to cervical cancer, and it was a terrible experience. She could have survived it, but she chose to pursue "alternative" cancer treatments instead of having the chemo and she was dead within 18 months of the first diagnosis (it's actually the first year anniversary on the 29th of this month- I can't believe time has gone by so quickly).

I miss you mum

And during all of that I had to have a second major surgery which also didn't really work out too well.

That's a LOT of plating :\

I am due to have a third surgery in a couple of weeks (hopefully that will be the end of that saga).

Thankfully, after a lifetime of pretty debilitating ups and downs I eventually found a medication that actually works (!!!) and I am managing to get through these last couple of years, and all the terrible losses I've suffered during this time, without hitting a significant low period. And that's pretty bloody amazing, all things considered.

That's right little pill, fix that brain!

Yup, hurry up and get working, off you go

So, this blog was initially about tracking my crossfit journey (a scene that was just perfect for someone like me who needs to have some sort of identity to which I can attach myself) but, with my current disability, it's been on hiatus for many, many months.

This was me pre 2nd surgery

I can't train, and I'm bored, so what's to write about?
But! and this is the cool thing about life, I have found a bit of an outlet to help give me some much needed fun and distraction from being poor and stuck at home waiting for various surgeries. And that outlet is nail polish (and to a lesser extent, corsets and tight-lacing).

Me in my Mystic City corset

So, I think I will blog a fair bit about polish- it's fun, it's pretty, it makes me feel good and I can have fun with it while recovering enough to start training again (although I doubt I will ever be able to do crossfit or lift as heavy as I used to ;_; )

I follow some AMAZING polish bloggers, some of whom are also Australian, which is very cool.

I've also stumbled onto the whole "indie nail polish" scene and I loooove it!!! The creativity on display is awesome.

Arcane Lacquer "Festive Embrace'

TBQH I am even considering making some polishes of my own (of course I am, haha), going from being a self employed house painter to a self employed nail polish maker :)
The good thing about working for one's self is that if I have a low patch I can simply go on hiatus for a while until I am well enough to get back into things, whereas a straight job simply doesn't allow for people like me.

I doubt that I will end up making my own polish, simply because of the start up costs, BUT I am going to look into that and some other job ideas...

Rent's gotta get paid

I'm definitely scared right now- I'm 42 and I've just lost my first business, one that I really think I could have succeeded with. And now I have to start all over again. I don't even know where to begin, but I will keep trying. I have to, if not for me then for my daughter (and our two cats).

I shall prevail!

So, the blog is going to be changing direction, possibly just for a while, possibly for ages, or possibly I'll forget to update this and it will join the ranks of deserted blogs littering the interwebs.
Wooh! Uncertainty about a blog no one reads! Here's a picture for those of you who made it all the way to the end;

May Bowie bless and protect you from overly long blog entries...

And it just keeps going... WTF universe?!

Soooo, the surgery I was supposed to have had to promote my fractured pelvis to heal has been cancelled. The good news is there's been some bone growth, so the need fr a new bone graft with an internal electrical stimulator is no longer necessary.

However, my left leg still doesn't work properly and I am not scheduled for any further orthopedic surgery at all.

I am, however, still scheduled to have the herniated bladder fixed- an issue that is a direct result of my last surgery (the internal stitches gave way, so my bladder pushed out below the pubic mound... lovely, right?). As for when I'm having that surgery, well, only the god-like waiting list nurses know that one and I am currently completely in the dark.

Needless to say, I am preeeety pissed off right now. I feel as though I have been shoved into the "too hard" basket and have been left to simply struggle on with a dodgy hip indefinitely. Thanks a lot St Vincent's, you really fucked me over on this one... they really need to work on their public relations, because the way they operate (no pun intended) currently is fucking terrible.

In the meantime I'm keeping myself busy buying bottles of nail polish and expanding my etsy wishlist daily haha

I am getting better with my manicures and am starting to play around with using tape etc to create interesting designs, though I'm steady enough to draw the smile lines on my french manicures free-hand. I still love glitter the best though.

Ahhh glitter... I love glitter. Except for how bloody difficult it is to remove. I use the ol' aluminium and cotton balls soaked in acetone, but it's still a pain in the bum. So I've ordered some "peel off" undercoat that is supposed to work brilliantly with glitter polishes- I've ordered Innisfree, a Korean brand, as it was cheaper that the OPI version but should work just as well.

Also, did you know acetone eats through plastic? I didn't. Until I accidentally spilt nail glue all over my dining table (a beautiful antique table that needs to be re-sanded urgently lol). The glue also got on the bottom of my shiny Apple track pad and when I used acetone to try and remove it I ended up removing some of the track pad instead. Thankfully it's only cosmetic damage, and very minor at that (it's not noticeable unless you're looking at the underside of the track pad, and why would you do that?). So that was a bit of a nightmare to deal with- I swore pretty damn loud and long, that's for sure.

Speaking of polish, here's Nubar Star Sparkle and Violet Sparkle

And here's Emily De Molly's "Fashion Victim" with Nubar Star Sparkle on the accent nail;

And finally, Color Club's "Holiday Splendor" which, like the polishes above, is impossible to photograph properly because of my crappy camera phone's inability to capture the glittery goodness...